Les Vacances du Deux Personnes, Jackie et Robert – Part one

NEWBURY

3:30 SATURDAY AFTERNOON

We had a long drive this morning. Jackie has become quite proficient driving here. We took motorways to Newbury and found John’s house. It took 2.5 hours to drive. There was some confusion as to which house was John’s. I walked up to a house and asked the owner, who said he had no idea. Then his wife overheard and said “Barker, oh yes – they live right there”, pointing to the next door house.

We walked over and rang, but there was no answer. We weren’t certain it was the correct house so we left a note and took a walk though the country side. One of the aspects I really enjoy about Britain are the footpaths that wander through the country. These are nothing more than trails through woods and fields. If you come to someone’s property with a fence around it, there will be a fence-crossing. A fence crossing is simply some wood steps that climb over the fence so you can continue the walk on the other side. Technically there are no trespassing laws in Britain. You are allowed to cross property as long as you do no damage.

The footpath we took was quite a bit off the beaten track. It was a bit muddy and over- grown. We walked along a bean field, crossed a wheat field and came to a gate and pasture with cows and a bull. This gate didn’t have a fence crossing so I felt we should continue along the field looking for one that did. We came to one next to a gate and fence, behind which was about fifteen cows gathered. They were very suspicious of us.

One kept pushing the others away from me whenever I tried to give them some grass. They started getting skittish so we crossed the fence and moved along.

11:30 PM

Well, there’s a lot to catch up on since 3:30 this afternoon. We went back to the house and no one was there. So we walked back down to the village pub. This time it was full of people – strange people…. One woman sitting was apparently comatose, although she seemed to be smoking. Actually everyone seemed to be smoking. I think even the dog was smoking. It was like walking into an ashtray.

We sat down and discussed what to do. Jackie wanted a beer so I went and stood two feet from the bartender. I must have been invisible although I would have expected him to at least sense the infrared radiation from my body. Eventually another patron called attention to me and the bartender saw me. He recognized me from earlier and I ordered two beers. I told him that we hadn’t found John. He suggested that someone in the pub must know Barker so I placed the question to the crowd.

Eventually, after much discussion, they decided that John must be the bloke renting the house across from the village school. So it appeared that we had actually found the correct house. Jackie gloated some since she had predicted that was the house based on the fact that a Land Rover was parked there. She used logic, which was beyond me, that John, whom she never met, was the type to drive a Land Rover.

We left another message on the door and decided to explore the area. So off we drove looking for adventure. We took the back roads.

Country road in England

In England the term back road is misleading. It implies a roadway that is wide enough for an automobile. Most here are only marginally wider than a small car, without any lines or shoulders on them. Blind corners are frequent and you pray that there is no pedestrians walking as you enter a corner at 45 mph. Actually, pedestrians aren’t your worry, its the on-coming lorries.

While exploring we stumbled onto a castle set back in the country. It was called Highclere Castle and was the ancestral home of the gent who discovered King Tutanhkamins tomb. We paid to take the tour inside and it was fascinating. The castle is open to the public three months out of the year and the rest of the time is used by the current Earl of Cardigan. What made the inside interesting was the mixture of old and new. In the basement was an exhibit of Egyptian antiquities.

Highclere Castle

After touring the castle we stopped at the butlers quarters that had been converted into a tea room. We ordered a cream tea and a set tea and then shared them. A cream tea is a biscuit and a scone with clotted cream, the set tea was a small cheese sandwich with tea. Both came with a sweet, fruit cake for the cream tea and chocolate cake for the set tea. Both of us where quite hungry by then, having only eaten Victoria plums since breakfast. After tea we wandered the grounds and gardens. The gardens were spectacular and Jackie was in heaven

SUNDAY MORNING 9:50

We left Highclere Castle and drove back to the house. Still nobody home at 5:00 PM. We are trying to figure out what to do. Jackie is thinking that we should try to find someplace to spend the night. We are sitting in the car. I have looked at John’s map and discover that he indeed had written the name of the house down. I suggested that we write our postcards and wait till six o’clock. If nobody showed by then we would leave a note and take-off. At six I trotted back down the road to the house to leave a note and found that John had just arrived home.

They had been out running errands and had left a message with their mobile phone number on their answering machine. It would have worked if I had had John’s phone number with me. Oh well. We had fun waiting so it wasn’t a major issue. We all had a laugh about the comedy of errors and sat and talked till 7:30.

We then drove into Newbury for a Chinese take- out and came back for dinner. John bought a couple of bottles of wine and we had a nice diner. After dinner John put a video on of Spinal Tap, a Rob Riener parody of English rock music. We finally crawled into bed about 11:30 or so.

John’s house in Echingswell

It is now 11:00 in the morning. Debbie and John left about 10:30 to look at a house and ve just come back. When they left, Jackie got up and we showered and cleaned up. John is ving to install a new dishwasher. He has to cut off the electrical plug in order to install it, since e cord has to pass through a hole in the kitchen counter top. Jackie is upstairs drying her hair.

12:30

We are trying to leave. They want to take us to Watership Down, the site of the novel with e same name. We tried the Range Rover, but it wouldn’t start. We transferred to John’s car id were just pulling out of the drive when John’s friend Mark pulled up. They had expected ark between 10:00 and 11:00 and had given up on him. We are sitting in the car as John ‘gotiates with Mark about when he can help Mark work on a car. It’s raining, the first real rain we have had since arriving in England. John has just gotten back in and Mark has driven off.

John and Debbie

4:49

We’re back at the house, after spending the afternoon driving through the countryside. There was some discussion/concern as it was apparent that John really wanted to help Mark work on a Jaguar. Debbie kept on him to make up his mind and he finally did. We stopped at the Waterrat pub for a brew and then continued on to Hungerford, the site of the school children massacre. At Hungerford we strolled through an antique market and a craft market but it was nothing interesting. I have been fighting a bug for several days (sore throat etc.) and my stomach wasn’t agreeing with the ale I had earlier. Actually my stomach and the ale were having a full fledged argument. We left Hungerford and drove up to Combes Gibbet where they used to hang criminals. It was a blustery day with a fine mist.

Echingswell is the name of the village John lives in. It is the site of the novel Watership Down. Nearby is the home of Andrew Webber, the producer of Phantom of the Opera. The countryside around here is very beautiful. Narrow county roads, barely the width of a car, wind here and there. The trees often form canopies overhead. Pedestrians and horses share the lanes, usually with absolutely no place to leap to if a car happens to come hurtling down on them. It is not uncommon to have to put your car into reverse to find a turnout in order to yield to oncoming traffic. Scattered here and there are old brick farm houses and thatched cottages.

Thatched cottage/restaurant near Echingswell

John’s children are due back at six so we won’t be able to go out for dinner this evening. Instead we stopped at a grocery store in Hungerford and bought pizza. It is now 5:00. Debbie is making scones. Jackie is rubbing my back and washing some clothes, John is making some sandwiches and I am updating this journal. Jackie has given me some pills that she claims are vitamin C, she thinks… I suspect she is trying to poison me.

10 MINUTES LATER

Bob is writhing about on the floor. I think its something he took earlier. He of course, will contend that I poisoned him — rubbish! Bob and I have been taking turns being grouchy. Fortunately we haven’t been grouchy at the same time. I was getting worried about him earlier, he was being very quiet. Apparently the ale didn’t agree with him. We just had a snack of sandwiches and fresh scones. He seems better now. John’s children just came in – they’re beautiful kids. Apparently they went to the toy store this weekend. Lauren got a stable with horses and tack (50 pounds) and the twins got a pellet gun that fires plastic pellets (2 pounds). They each have sandy blond hair, ruddy cheeks and bright white smiles. They seem to have great stores of energy.

MONDAY MORNING 7:20

We left John’s house about 15 minutes ago and are making good time. We missed the Newbury traffic and are now approaching the M4 to London.

I’ve come down with a bug of some sort. Aches, slight fever and chill etc. Took some aspirin this morning, and had a cup of tea. Last night no one was hungry so we skipped the pizza. We opened Jackie’s uncle’s wine and sat and talked. The wine wasn’t too bad. I can’t imagine what the French would say about the concept of English wine… We gave John his gift (the Rolex watch), and he seemed to enjoy it.

The weather this morning is quite a contrast to yesterday. The sun is bright and the temperature mild. Yesterday was a cool, wet, blustery kind of day. It reminded me of autumn in Oregon.

9:15

Traffic is “horrendous” to use the description off the radio. The M4 going towards Heathrow was stop and go and the M25 orbital has also been slow. We were worried about petrol so we pulled off the 25 about 35 miles before the Stansted airport. Filling the tank cost about $34 (ouch.) I’m glad I don’t live here. Back on the M25 and traffic is moving fast now. Jackie is driving well, although she started to get into the car on the passengers side again and then when she did get behind the wheel, she reached with the wrong hand for the seat belt. It does get confusing at times.

We made it to the airport by 9:50, got to the ticket counter and discovered that the flight was delayed until 12:00. The plane was here, and there was a chance that it might be cleared for take-off so we couldn’t do anything but wait. That’s the typical thing for traveling. We flew down the motorways, concerned about being late, only to get here and have to sit around and wait. Oh well, we are resting up and having a coffee and snack while we wait. My stomach is feeling a little better now.

Driving has been quite the adventure here in England. Once I’m in the car I’m fine. But every time I get in its readjusting to the left side. Bob has been great. Very positive and supportive, and he is good about reminding me – left, left, left!!!

Drivers are very aggressive, yet patient on the roads here. My average speed on the M roads was about 85 and I was being passed constantly. Drivers were continually “appearing” in back of me if I was in the fast lane, but were not rude if I was unable to get over right away.

I had a bit of difficulty with the gears. I was repeatedly trying to start in third, and more than once went from first to fourth. This made it extremely difficult at roundabouts. I’d get midway into the circle and suddenly be looking for a gear, slowing up and finally lurch out of it.

Overall, the experience was much better than I had feared. Bob was a great help and I’m glad he was there to remind me “left.” I’m sure he had something at stake there.

Continue to part two